


Of Knee Socks and Bunny Rabbits

by Hoodedscarlet



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Boarding School, Crossdressing, Disguise, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-15 08:57:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoodedscarlet/pseuds/Hoodedscarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Dave accepts a dare from Rose, he goes undercover at Rose's boarding school. Friendships are made and challenged, classes struggled through and romance arises with the cute boy at the corner shop down the road.<br/>There's just one problem - Rose's boarding school is for girls only.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Always Starts With Her

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to naegisensei on tumblr; its your crazy idea that started it all.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Even Dave's shades failed to hide the disbelieving stare behind them. His voice, his stare, everything was absolutely deadpan as the woman responsible for his shocked expression continued on her merry way without even acknowledging her proposition.  
"I mean Rose this isn't elephant in a tutu ridiculous," Dave continued, standing up from his seat "this is like a whole damn parade of elephants came marching into the room blaring Toxic and wearing tutus. And then one starts break dancing in the second chorus and a tiger starts serving cocktails made from bleach and Bacardi and starts swinging on that huge ass wizard you have standing in the hallway that is how ridiculous this is."

"Finished rambling?" Rose smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"Whatever’s making you believe such baseless accusations?" Rose replied, batting her eyebrows and flourishing her skirt. "I'm just having a little fun of my own- I'm assuming you'd like apple juice, dear brother?" The nickname rolled off her tongue without her missing a beat. She poured herself a drink – non-alcoholic, of course.

"Fuck yeah, apple juice is the best thing since Santa did a- Wait, don't distract me, we are having this conversation, we are doing it." Dave said, slamming his hands onto the kitchen bench. "You want to be able to walk out of here triumphant, don't you? Singing to the world 'Hey, look at me! I stumped the great and mighty Dave Strider by facing him with a common child's prank!' Whoop-de-do!’"  
The teacup that Rose chose to sip out of failed to completely conceal her smile.

"You seem so sure I want to say that."

"I may not be your actual brother but I'm close enough to know when you're shitting me."

"So let me get this straight - you're not against wearing skirts for a year?" She said, placing the teacup back on its saucer as her eyes connected with his. "Being inevitably dragged into conversations about makeup and boys and other topics 'girly' in their manner? No rough housing or video games, lingo you won’t even know where to begin learning but you’ll have to before you can even think about surviving? And most importantly," she leaned across the table; he could smell the peach tea on her breath and it smelt of mischief, the bloody asshole.

"You can't tell anyone. At. All. You're going to put your whole image on the line to just try and best me in a 'common child's prank'?"  
Dave stared back into Rose's violet eyes, despite feeling his skin crawl, the woman whom he'd known his whole life stripping him with her eyes and voice and shit eating smirk and fucking hell this girl made him squirm more than Cal. (Eighteen years and thank fucking god she hadn't learnt to flash step; otherwise he think he’d probably die)

"You're gonna analyse the shit out of me for saying yes, aren't you?" Dave said.

"Of course." Rose replied, and that smirk on her face hadn't moved an inch had it? "That's why I posed the question in the first place."

Dave thought he was home free as Rose started to busy herself in the kitchen again, pots and pans clicking as she whipped up the meal for later. Perhaps that’s all the proposition was; a silly prank, a chance to analyse him, play him like a turntable.  
But of course he had underestimated the woman, for as soon as he let out the breath he had been holding he sucked it back in again when she began to speak once more.

"The uniforms in my room - why don't you try it on? It's going to be yours soon, anyway."

-x-

"Ugh do you seriously have to wear a tie with this?"

Dave said, pinching the offending piece of blue fabric out in front of him, giving it a glare as if it was not to dissimilar too one of Bro's smuppets. Of course, its ties to the more sexually promiscuous world weren’t as restricted as one of his Bro’s plush ‘toys’, but one could have been mistaken by the way Dave’s face screwed up at the item of clothing.  
"Uniforms are supposed to be consistent between all students of the school and workplace to evoke a sense of unity among students." Rose replied, leaning against the doorframe. "So I suspect yes, yes you do have to wear a tie with it, and you don’t really have a choice in the matter."

"It looks like a bee threw up on it."

"A stylish bee, at least?"

Just ignore her, just ignore her.  
Dave leaned down to pull up the navy socks to stop him biting off his tongue and oh wow, he was not used to having a breeze going up there. His hands shot down to pull the fabric of his skirt down but it was still much too cold around his legs and higher. It wasn't even because the skirt was particularly short either - it was just a fucking pleated school girl skirt and last time he checked, men were not really expected to be well versed in the use and wear of feminine clothing in general.  
"There," Dave said, standing up again, tugging down the dark navy skirt. "How do I look?" For once though, Rose didn't immediately retaliate with a witty comeback, instead carefully observing him. Taking in the dark blue blazer, tailored with subtly shaping the female figure in mind. The sleeves were rimmed with yellow a couple of finger widths from the end; the same shade of yellow that diagonally striped across the tie around Dave's neck.

“Like a girl.” She said after a moment, the hint of amusement on her voice not enough to disguise the intent of the statement; he could do this, he could really pull this off. For once his lanky frame was going to help him out, his androgynous features allowing him to pass under the radar perfectly… “A flawless disguise if I ever saw one.” She added, taking another sip of her tea.

“Well aren’t you confident?”

“And you aren’t?” 

“That’s not the point.” Dave replied tight lipped; watching his reflection fidget, his legs a bit too hairy to make them look feminine, his shades looking out of place and hair much too scruffy.

“You know there are several ways to fix the little things up.” Rose added, walking over to his side. Dave shot her a look.

“Are we actually having this conversation?”

“I think I was qualified to have this conversation with you as soon as you agreed to this.”

“How are you even going to pull this off anyway?” Dave asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, I don’t exactly look like you, do I?” It was Rose’s turn to give him a look, smirking as she raised an eyebrow and god damn it that woman should not be able to wind him up as fast as she could. 

“Connections Dave, it’s only going to take a few phone calls and it’ll all be sorted.” Rose said, setting her cup down on the table beside her.  
“And how about your classes? Much as I’d love to learn about the thrilling history of the Black Plague I have different tastes to you.”

“You’re seriously doubting that I can make this work can you?”

“More like I’d rather learn about sick beats than sick peeps.” Dave muttered under his breath pulling off the tie and throwing it aside. If Rose heard his comment, she didn’t comment. (Something told him she had.)

“So Dave.” She said, picking up the tie. “You still want to do this?” The was she phrased it too, it was like she expected him to back down.

“Hell yes.” He said, taking the tie, the action like some sort of seal on the deal. 

He had a feeling it was going to be an interesting year.


	2. Because Dead Things Totally Rock

It seemed like only yesterday that Dave had sealed the deal with Rose; the summer had passed so fast that he could barely remember what he had done. Not that it was anything particularly interesting to most people – thinking up sick beats and raps, eating pizza some days and Chinese every other day. A strife every now and then and a few nights he had even been able to sneak into some of Bro’s DJing gigs. It was the best learning experience around; with Striders being the best at everything, who better to learn from than the only person that could ever best him?  
But standing in front of the school, unable to decide whether the building propped on top of the hill looked like something straight out of Harry Potter or some obscure horror movie, he was starting to wonder whether this was going to be as easy as he thought.

Bro, typically, had laughed when Dave’s plan to infiltrate the school had come to light. He made no attempt to stop him though; rather in true cool bro style gave him his ‘parental consent’ before flash stepping off. He had been in the middle of directing one of those weird pornos for his site anyway, the stars of which later joined him in his room. And by ‘joined’, it meant a pile of smuppets suddenly and unceremoniously dumped on top of him. The girly scream that he let out upon realizing plush rumps were invading was completely called for and manly and totally not _uncool what are you talking about._

The man himself now stood beside him, collar popped and cap bowed against the late summer sun. He could see faint scars criss-crossing down his arms, the result of many a strife. In the heat of the Texas sun he had seen those scars twist and flex, each one he had inflicted a small achievement in the younger Strider's mind. He liked to think his Bro thought the same. 

“You ready, kid?”

Dave just gave a small nod, eyes flicking up to meet Bro’s eyes. Not that anybody else would know – how could you tell through shades they thought? He could tell of course, as could his Bro. A silent affirmation between them that spoke more than words ever could between them.  
Sometimes Dave wondered how Bro had just got up and left from their broken family, taking his baby brother with him, then somehow juggling raising him and his business.  
The stories that he heard about his drunkard mother and all but missing father just made the feat seem even more impossible. He could never have done it.  
Maybe that was why he was the younger brother.

He was startled out his daydream by a girl walking up to him; long hair tied low and a smile that dimpled at the edges.  
“Dove?” She asked, giving Dave a warm smile. Dave could hear Bro almost snicker at the name, Dave just knew it. But he needed a name to use in the time he was here – Dave wasn’t really unisex and like hell he was going to go by Rose. 

“That’s me.” He replied, offering the ghost of a smile in return - just enough to return the gesture but not enough to look dorky (Striders are cool, ironic; not dorky.)

“I’m Aradia.” She replied with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you Dove!” She turned to Bro, offering her hand. Bro took it, and shook firmly.

“You must be Dove’s…?”

“Brother.” Bro confirmed, giving a smirk. “Dirk’s the name. Neither of our parents couldn’t make it today, so I’m here instead.”

“Fair enough.” Aradia agreed. “If you want you can come with me and your sister” Wow that sounded weird- “I’m just going to tour her around the facilities and things, so you’re free to come along. I think your mother did that at the open day though, so if you want to say goodbye now we can take over from here” Bro gave a nod.

“I think I’ll do that then.” He offered his fist to Dave, who bunped it enthusiastically in return. (And by enthusiastically he meant with all the cool and swagger of a Strider.)  
“See ya later lil’ sis.”

“See ya, bro.”

He could feel Aradia’s eyes on him as Bro’s car disappeared around the corner, and all at once Dave’s insecurities came rushing back to him. Did he look the part? Did he sound the part? Did he look too much like a boy in these clothes?  
Aradia just gave him a grin before grabbing the handle of his rolling suitcase with one hand and his own hand with the other.  
“Come on! There’s so much to show you!”

-x-

“Jeez, how big even is this place?”

Dave said, shaking his head as Aradia lead him past what looked like the same building again for the third time. Aradia just laughed, finally leading him into a quaint looking courtyard, fountain bubbling in the middle and wow this place looked expensive. Two girls sat in one of the seats opposite the fountain. One girl had short hair jammed under a blue beanie, and she was half curled up in the lap of a girl whose hair rivaled the length and curl of Aradia’s, a gold hairband holding back the curls from her face. They seemed absorbed in the book the long haired girl was holding; Aradia waved at the two of them as they passed.

“Smaller than you think, although going up the hill can be a killer.” She grinned, refering back to Dave's original question. “I’m impressed, usually new kids are half dead when they get here even when their stuff is getting carried.”

“Well you obviously haven’t met a Strider, ma’am.” Dave replied, stretching his Texan drawl and waggling his eyebrows. Aradia just laughed.

“Come on, let’s go drop off this stuff.” Aradia laughed.

“Yeah, my bag straps about to make sashimi out of my shoulder, super fresh come and get it.” Dave replied, giving a crooked smile that was dangerously close to dorkiness, abort mission abort mission Houston we have a problem. But who could blame him? There was something about the girl that just made him smile. She seemed so… Alive.  
The two of them pushing open a door into a small common room set up, before heading up another flight of stairs (more?!) and finally they reached a corridor with doors lining one side. Windows streamed in the gold afternoon light; It was kind of nice actually.

“The dorms are shared with one other person.” Aradia said, and was that embarrassment scrawled across her face? “I used to share with another girl but she moved schools... So I guess you’ve got me as a roommate.” She gave a smile as her cheeks darkened, rubbing the back of her head in an almost- no, definitely an embarrassed fashion. “Hopefully you don’t mind my weird stuff everywhere.” She finished.

“Weird stuff?” Dave asked as Aradia set down his bag, opening the door to a surprisingly spacious room. Two desks occupied each side of the room along with single beds, a large bookshelf in the middle covered in-

“Fossils?”

“Yeah.” Aradia said, “My dad’s an archaeologist, he’ll bring back things for me if I can’t go with him.”

“That’s neat.” Dave said, resisting the urge to grin idiotically because dead things hell yes hell fucking yes he could totally roll with this this chick was checking all the boxes. “Which is your favorite?”

Aradia’s face lit up as she walked over to the shelf, lifting off a large rock. A creature roughly the same size as her fist adorned the topmost corner, with a ribbed body and bony looking head.

“I have cooler ones at home, but I like having this trilobite in my room, looks kinda cool when you walk in.”

“Kind of?” Dave replied. “It looks fucking awesome, if you wrap it up and give it to me for Christmas you could take me now.” Dave said and oh fuck it, the excitement was sliding through into his voice like cracks in the pavement. “Always wanted a trilobite for myself,” he added “really only have preserved animals myself.”

“Preserved animals?” Aradia’s smile became so big in response it was almost creepy. “It sounds like we have a lot to talk about.”

-x-

Dinner passed in a blur of new names, ceaseless questions and disappointingly average food. He lost track of how many times he was asked to take off his shades (“I’m telling you it’s a medical condition man and if you don’t believe me have a look at my records, it’s all written down in black and white and sealed with a drop of my own blood.”) and he swore that if he remembered everybody’s names by the end of the week he’d be Jesus incarnate.

But by the end of the meal he was very aware of a pair of eyes observing him from the opposite end of the room, the glare practically poisonous. Hell, she was practically shooting daggers at him, muttering sour remarks to her friend. Her bright blue nails (that were most definitely not school regulation) tapped in a regular click-click-click over the table top.  
“So what’s with Tweedledee and Tweedledum over there?” Dave asked Aradia, shooting a look at the two girls, raising an eyebrow at them. The redhead just cackled, and what she was looking at Dave didn’t even know, because it wasn’t at him or the black haired girl she sat opposite.

“Oh, them?” Aradia asked, a sour tone entering her voice. “Vriska and Terezi. ” She pulled a face. “They’ll pull you in, tie you up and destroy you just for fun. That is, if they’re not screwing each other over first.” She jerked her thumb over at one of the girls they had seen earlier today; no longer wearing her blue beanie her hair curled violently , and if her smile was any wider Dave swore her face would break. “Nepeta still thinks Terezi’s alright; don’t ask me why because I don’t know.” He could visibly see Aradia winding up, eyes hardening, fists clenching; she leaned across the table and the venom she spoke her words with was downright terrifying. “Don’t go near the two of them, and I swear you’ll be ten times better off.”

“…If you say so.” Dave replied after a moment, unable to resist the urge to look over at the two of them again. It was as if the taller of the two (Vriska?) had read her lips; she flipped the bird so subtly that anybody else could’ve mistaken for nothing, before continuing to chat to Terezi who seemed utterly absorbed in the conversation.  
“Remind me not to piss you off.” He added with a laugh that was more forced then genuine, trying to shake off the feeling that wow some serious shit had gone down there – and the way that all the anger washed right off Aradia’s face as soon as he asked the question just made it even worse.

“Trust me, easier said than done.” She said, “Those two just happen to be masters at rubbing me the wrong way.”

“Seriously it’s pretty legendary.” One of the girls piped up; Dave turned to see Feferi -that was her name, right? – leaning across the table “there are still dents in the wall of Vriska’s dorm room from this massive bust up they had-“

“Girls, less chatting and more tidying!” A shrill voice snapped from behind them, making Dave jump, and oh okay, half the tables were already clear and their one still looked like a pigsty when did that happen? Thankfully tidying up was quick, and Dave’s inexperience with the processes of the kitchen was thankfully nullified by the fact everybody else had been here for three years and did this everyday like clockwork.

By the time they had finished tidying up, the rest of the boarding school population had left, only the chefs in the kitchen busying themselves in the back.

“Come on Dove.” Aradia said, tugging on his sleeve. Dave turned to see her smiling, and it was a worn smile; no less genuine then the ones that she had been wearing earlier in the morning but fading in the edges as it bled, sleepiness softening her expression. Dave let her lead her through the grounds back to their dorm, down the paths lines with bushes neatly trimmed where old fashioned lamp posts glowed softly. The air was warm, the slightest nip to the air signalling the approaching winter.

By the time they made it back to their room, Dave was starting to feel the drain too – the day’s events and so many people getting up in his grill and an unknown bed to look forward to all added up to Dave just wanting to face plant into his pillow and conk out for the night.  
It was a silent agreement by the time they tottered back into the bedroom, Aradia shuffling off to the shower with her hair loose and curling down her back (Dave couldn’t help but think it suited her much better that way) while Dave propped his feet up on the headboard of his bed, yawning and letting his eyes… rest for a while…

He was shocked out of his definitely-not-a-nap by a cheerful tapping at the door, making him groan as he narrowly missed rolling off the bed onto the floor. He made his way over to the door, unlocking and opening it-

No.  
This couldn’t be right.  
The hair, the shirt, the glasses and the buck tooth smile. She was as short and peppy as ever and he knew that smile, had watched it lit up in front of him on numerous occasions. He had made that god damn smile happen himself and this couldn't be right oh god-

“Jade?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life happened, but this fic is definitely not abandoned; chapters will hopefully be coming out a liiiiiil more frequently   
> now. Enjoy the shenanigans. :DD  
> also excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes its 12am idek anymore  
> (John will finally appear in the next chapter, so stay tuned!)


End file.
